hello, dearies. I am the amazing, the noble, the indisputably incredible Pandora! it may seem like a waste of time for you to visit, but visit anyway. It inflates my ego.
And God said unto Abraham, “Abraham.”
And Abraham replied, “What.”
God said to John, “Come forth and receive eternal life.” But John came fifth and won a toaster.
And Judas approached the rabbis and Pharisees saying, “The one whom I kiss is the one you seek.”
To which they responded, “Gay.”
And thus, god made Eve. And she was bammin’ slammin’ bootylicious.
see you all in hell
Child me: WOW WHEN IM A TEENAGER IM GONNA GO OUT WITH MY FRIENDS TO THE MALL AND PARTY AND DATE HOT PEOPLE AND BE POPULAR AND COOL
Teenage me: *hisses at sunlight*